Cross-Cultural Dating Preferences: What 45 Countries Reveal About Men and Women

A comprehensive new study examining mate preferences across 45 countries and over 14,000 participants has provided fresh insights into how men and women differ in what they seek in long-term romantic partners. The research, published in Psychological Science, offers valuable data for understanding dating dynamics across cultures.

The Study Overview

Researchers collected data from 14,399 participants (54.93% female) across 45 countries in 2016, with ages ranging from 18 to 91 years (average age 28.78). The study examined five key traits that people value in ideal long-term partners:

  • Kindness
  • Intelligence
  • Health
  • Physical attractiveness
  • Financial prospects

Participants rated each trait on a scale from 1 to 7, indicating their preferences for an ideal long-term romantic partner.

Universal Patterns: What the Data Shows

Financial Security Preferences

The research confirmed a consistent global pattern: women showed stronger preferences for partners with good financial prospects compared to men.

Key Statistics:

  • Women’s average rating: 5.48 out of 7
  • Men’s average rating: 5.11 out of 7
  • This difference was statistically significant (p < .001)
  • The pattern held true across cultures, with the smallest difference in Spain and the largest in China

Physical Attractiveness Preferences

Men consistently rated physical attractiveness as more important than women did across cultures.

Key Statistics:

  • Men’s average rating: 5.85 out of 7
  • Women’s average rating: 5.56 out of 7
  • This difference was statistically significant (p < .001)
  • The pattern varied by country, ranging from minimal differences in China to larger gaps in Brazil

Age Preferences in Real Relationships

The study examined actual partner ages among participants in relationships, revealing consistent patterns:

For Women:

  • Average partner age: 2.43 years older than themselves
  • This pattern remained consistent as women aged

For Men:

  • Average partner age: 2.26 years younger than themselves
  • As men aged, they tended to have increasingly younger partners

Shared Values Across Genders

Both men and women highly valued certain traits, with women showing slightly higher preferences:

Kindness:

  • Women: 6.23 out of 7
  • Men: 6.12 out of 7

Intelligence:

  • Women: 6.03 out of 7
  • Men: 5.92 out of 7

Health:

  • Women: 6.10 out of 7
  • Men: 6.00 out of 7

Cultural Variations

Gender Equality Impact

The study examined whether gender equality in different countries affected mate preferences. The most significant finding related to age preferences:

  • In countries with greater gender equality, both men and women chose partners closer to their own age
  • This suggests that social equality may influence relationship dynamics
  • However, gender equality had minimal impact on preferences for financial prospects or physical attractiveness

Economic and Social Factors

The researchers tested whether factors like disease prevalence or economic development influenced mate preferences. Results showed:

  • Limited evidence that pathogen prevalence affects preferences
  • Economic factors (GDP) had minimal predictive power
  • Cultural and religious differences showed small effects

Predictive Power of Preferences

When researchers used mate preferences to predict whether someone was male or female, they achieved 63% accuracy—significantly better than random chance (50%). This suggests that while preferences overlap considerably between genders, consistent differences do exist.

Regional Variations

The study found notable country-specific patterns:

Largest Gender Differences Overall:

  • Georgia showed the most pronounced differences between male and female preferences
  • Nigeria showed the smallest overall differences

Financial Preferences:

  • China showed the largest gender gap in financial prospect preferences
  • Spain showed the smallest gender gap

Attractiveness Preferences:

  • Brazil showed the largest gender gap in physical attractiveness preferences
  • China showed the smallest gender gap

Implications for Dating

What This Means for Understanding Attraction

The research suggests several practical insights:

  1. Universal Patterns Exist: Despite cultural differences, some gender-based preference patterns appear consistently worldwide
  2. Individual Variation Matters: While statistical trends exist, individual preferences vary significantly within each gender
  3. Cultural Context Influences Degree: The strength of gender differences varies by culture, particularly regarding age preferences
  4. Shared Values Dominate: Both men and women prioritize kindness, intelligence, and health most highly

Practical Considerations

For those navigating dating across cultures:

  • Age Expectations: Be aware that age preferences may vary based on cultural background and local gender equality norms
  • Financial Considerations: Economic security preferences may be more pronounced in certain cultural contexts
  • Individual Focus: Remember that statistical trends don’t predict individual preferences
  • Universal Qualities: Qualities like kindness and intelligence are valued across all cultures and genders

Study Limitations and Context

The researchers noted several important limitations:

  • Data collection occurred in 2016, and preferences may evolve over time
  • Sample sizes varied significantly between countries (80 participants in El Salvador vs. 1,061 in Turkey)
  • The study focused on long-term relationship preferences, not short-term dating
  • Cultural measures may not capture individual experiences

Conclusion

This large-scale cross-cultural study confirms that while some gender differences in mate preferences appear universal, cultural context significantly influences their expression. The research suggests that understanding both universal patterns and cultural variations can provide valuable insights into relationship dynamics across different societies.

The findings indicate that successful cross-cultural dating likely benefits from awareness of both statistical trends and individual variation, emphasizing the importance of getting to know potential partners as individuals rather than relying solely on demographic assumptions.


This article is based on research published in Psychological Science by Walter, K.V., Conroy-Beam, D., Buss, D.M., and colleagues (2020). The study examined mate preferences across 45 countries with over 14,000 participants.

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